God Is With Me Always

         Every day, I just praise and thank God for everything He's brought me through. It's been quite a long time since I've written in here and things have changed so much! I now live in Roanoke Rapids, NC and I have my own place. It's been about a year and a half since I moved down here and I'm absolutely loving it! Do you remember my dear friend Travis that I talked about before in my past blogs? Well, we're still together and I truly believe things are moving forward for us. There will be more on that later. ;) Until then, may God bless all of you out there and I pray that whoever doesn't have Jesus Christ as their personal Savior come to Him and let Him take over your life. You won't regret it! I'm serious! When you know you're in His will, you are happy. Believe me, I know. When it was time for me to move down here, I just knew it was the right time. God let me know that. My prayers are with all of you always and I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted last time. Like my friend Scott says sometimes, catch y'all on the flip!

Obey Your Parents - You Just Have To!

This might be a short one but it's very important so I'll post it up. It's so early in the morning and I'm up very wide-eyed right now. Why? Because my mom got me up. She wants me to get my devotions done (which I did a few minutes ago), get washed and dressed, get my breakfast and get to work. Early April I moved back home because of complications in the apartment I was living in and my home is not very organized. I realized when I came home, I had another chance to make it right since I didn't all this time but you know what? I still haven't followed through with it! It's so horrible, it makes me sick to my stomach. I realize now all the more that I have to get it right this time. I plan to move to North Carolina within a couple of months (that's the plan, anyway) and I have to make very sure that I don't leave anything undone. I have to do what I can when I'm here at home and if this is what it takes, then bring it on! I confess, I haven't been faithful to my mom as I should've been all along but I believe God is sending me a reminder this morning when I was basically "dragged" out of my bed today. Colossians 3:20 says: "Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord"(NASB). I have also read that your days will be long upon the earth which the Lord your God gives you (Exodus 20:12). Do I want to live long? Do I want to make sure nothing is left undone? Of course I do! I'll admit, I was pretty upset at first when my mom woke me up this morning but I've humbled myself before God just now and I'm going to do what I can while I'm still living here. May I never stray away from this Word I have learned even more so now then before. I've heard these verses over and over growing up but they're all the more clear to me now.

Dear Lord God, please forgive me for how I've been this past month. It's been very wrong of me to be this way. I should give graditude to those who have raised me in the ways of the Lord. I give it now wholeheartedly and completely. Father God, I realize now why You have me back here at home and I make a declaration to follow through with what I'm supposed to do. Thank You Jesus for having my mom wake me up this morning. Thank You Lord for her raising me and teaching me Your ways. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her and my dad. I love them both and I want to do all I can for them now. Guide me Lord in Your ways. Teach me all I need to know. My mom has put me in Your hands and that is where I intend to stay. Direct me in the way I should go. I will not depart from it. Furthermore, I praise You for the fact that it says in Your word that when I delight myself in You, You will give me the desires of my heart. I delight myself in You now as I do what my parents tell me. Thank You Jesus! I give Your precious name praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus name I pray, amen!! (7:26 am)

"How Is Your Faith?" That Is The Question

Did you ever come to a realization in your life, a time where you wanted to make sure you were going in the right direction? Well, that happened to me this past Sunday. My assistant pastor Curtis Hickson had a message entitled "How Is Your Faith?" and it just drew me. As I listened to the message, I wrote down these questions in my notes: "What is the condition of my faith? How strong is my faith?" I was actually asking myself these questions as I listened and to be quite honest, I felt a little shaken. Here lately, I've been trying to find a job and a place to live down in North Carolina and the one thing that always comes to mind is how much I miss my boyfriend and how much I want to be with him. I realize now that that's not how I should be. I'm not supposed to feel sad or downhearted because I'm so far away from him. I should thank and praise God because He's got it all under control. I should praise the Lord that He's faithful and I need to keep the faith in order to get things together. In Mark 11:22, Jesus told His disciples to "have faith in God." What He meant was have the faith OF God. I heard that quite a while ago but this time around, it became so real to me.

My assistant pastor read from Hebrews 10 (the whole chapter) and he illustrated very well on how it all ties together. He spoke on how in Old Testament days, they would use the blood of bulls, goats and sheep as sacrifices to the Lord for their sins every year (Heb. 10:1-6). Later it was in prophecy that the Lamb of God (Jesus) would come and sacrifice Himself "once for all," (vs. 10:10). Through His precious sacrifice, we are sanctified and called the children of God! Praise the Lord! Because of this, "the just shall live by faith" (vs. 38). I am called the just! There is no reason to feel down in the dumps! I shouldn't complain and mope because I am in a certain place and I want to be somewhere else. Jesus didn't complain when He was whipped, beaten and crucified! He went through it all so I could live in faith knowing that He is on my side! If I go on every day remembering this principle, I'll have all the confidence and strength I need to make it. That's true for all of us, I'm sure. I am making a declaration: I won't be sad or aching because I'm not where I want to be - I'll just keep the faith and know that God will bring me to where He wants me to be in His time.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You so much for this awesome Word You've brought before me. I confess, I've been wrong in how I've been thinking lately. I've forgotten to put You first before everything and everyone and I truly and honestly repent of it. Thank You so much Lord for Your forgiveness. I pray Father God that I'll keep an open mind and be strong in faith. Thank You Lord for my family and my friends. Bless them and keep them safe. Thank You so much for my dear boyfriend Travis as well as his family. Wrap Your loving arms around them and bless them, I pray. Thank You for Your angels surrounding and protecting them. I also pray for my relationship with Travis. May we keep on being strong in faith and in truth as we keep on reading and meditating on the Word. No matter how far apart we are, we're always close because You are the center of our joy. Thank You Jesus! I give Your name praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus' name I pray, amen!! (12:28 am)

A Tremendous Call To Prayer

Well, a lot has happened over the past few weeks. A lot of work has been put into upholding presidential candidates and now the one that the majority of the American people wanted in office has won. A lot of the people are celebrating this time and others are feeling pretty downhearted...like I was feeling today when I got up this morning.

Yes, I was pulling for John McCain to win but alas, Barack Obama has taken the victory and I feel like there's a possible chance for the freedom of this nation to go down. Yet, I am praising God for the fact that I'm still here, alive and well and I have won in my own right. I just know in my heart that I am one of those who have been called "for such a time as this." My eyes have been opened to what I need to do. I have to take a stand for what I believe in, share the Gospel of Jesus Christ faithfully, pray for our new president and this nation continuously, fervently and frequently. It's time-time for Christians (every single one of us) to pray now more than ever before. We also can't be silent anymore. We need to speak and shout aloud for the Glory of God! Like it says in the song Make A Joyful Noise to the Lord: "I will not be silent, no! And I will not be quiet anymore!" I'm not just talking to whoever is reading this blog; I am talking to myself, too. Do I feel guilty for not sharing Jesus like I was supposed to all this time? Of course I am! I know now though that I can't be silent. God is calling us (you and me) to be bold - bold for Him.

One time when I first started going to my old church (Impacting Your World Christian Ctr.), I came down to the altar to "receive the Holy Spirit." I went downstairs with other people after the pastor prayed for us. Some of you might have your own views on this kind of thing but don't mind me; I'm just sharing my testimony. Anyway, we were all downstairs together. The leaders prayed with us and we all started speaking in tongues. It was the most exciting thing I've ever experienced! One lady laid her hands on me and she had a message from God for me. She said "You love God with all your heart but the only thing He wants from you is more boldness." I was reminded of that today and I truly believe that's the calling not just for me but for every Christian in the United States and all over the world. Let's take this opportunity to stand up for Jesus Christ. Let's be revolutionaries for our Lord and Savior!!

1When Mordecai learned (A)all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city and wailed loudly and bitterly.
2He went as far as the king's gate, for no one was to enter the king's gate clothed in sackcloth.
3In each and every province where the command and decree of the king came, there was great mourning among the Jews, with (B)fasting, weeping and wailing; and many lay on sackcloth and ashes.
4Then Esther's maidens and her eunuchs came and told her, and the queen writhed in great anguish. And she sent garments to clothe Mordecai that he might remove his sackcloth from him, but he did not accept them.
5Then Esther summoned Hathach from the king's eunuchs, whom the king had appointed to attend her, and ordered him to go to Mordecai to learn what this was and why it was.
6So Hathach went out to Mordecai to the city square in front of the king's gate.
7Mordecai told him all that had happened to him, and (C)the exact amount of money that Haman had promised to pay to the king's treasuries for the destruction of the Jews.
8He also gave him (D)a copy of the text of the edict which had been issued in Susa for their destruction, that he might show Esther and inform her, and to order her to go in to the king to implore his favor and to plead with him for her people.
9Hathach came back and related Mordecai's words to Esther.
10Then Esther spoke to Hathach and ordered him to reply to Mordecai:
11"All the king's servants and the people of the king's provinces know that for any man or woman who (E)comes to the king to the inner court who is not summoned, (F)he has but one law, that he be put to death, unless the king holds out (G)to him the golden scepter so that he may live. And I have not been summoned to come to the king for these thirty days."
12They related Esther's words to Mordecai.
13Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, "Do not imagine that you in the king's palace can escape any more than all the Jews.
14"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and (H)deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?"
Esther Plans to Intercede 15Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai,
16"Go, assemble all the Jews who are found in Susa, and fast for me; (I)do not eat or drink for (J)three days, night or day. I and my maidens also will fast in the same way. And thus I will go in to the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish."
17So Mordecai went away and did just as Esther had commanded him.

Esther 4:1-17

Dear Heavenly Father, You are such an awesome God! My mind still has yet to comprehend the greatness of You. My Lord and Savior, I come to You now humbled and moved by the calling You've placed on my life. May I go forth by Your leading and share the Gospel with EVERYONE I come in contact with. If the time comes when I have to give my life for spreading Your word, then so be it. I pray earnestly for our president. I pray in the Name of Jesus that whatever decisions he makes during his term will be divinely directed of You, God. I put him into Your hands. I lift him up in prayer to You right now, Lord. Do with him as You will. I pray fervently that he will make the right decisions because he is following Your lead. I thank You Lord that You are still on the throne and prayer changes things. Praise Your holy name!! I give Your name praise, honor and glory forevermore. I love You, Lord!!! In Jesus' precious name I pray, amen!!!!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Goodness! So much time has past since I last wrote on here but today is the start of great things to come. "Why" do you ask? Well, let me just get right down to it. Sit back, relax and enjoy this little post I'm putting up. Lately, I've been trying to get myself together as far as moving or looking for a new job is concerned. I haven't gotten very far yet but I'm still striving on. In fact, I'm so serious about it, I started a serious period of fasting and praying. During this time however, I wasn't just praying for me to move or get it all together. I was praying that my mom would accept my having a boyfriend. Just recently I took a trip to North Carolina to visit Travis and we had a great time. I realized just after I got on the train coming back home that I left my journal and a music tape that Travis and I put together. He told me he'd send them to me when he could. When he sent it, it took over a week. When it finally came, my mom took it. She later confessed to me that she listened to the tape. There was a song on it that Travis wrote for me and she heard that. Now she's accepting Travis and me being together. When we were done talking that day, all I could do was praise and thank God. :) It was so great hearing that! After all this time, there is a light at the end of my tunnel. Now I can happily say that I'm with my dear boyfriend and my mom is all right with it. Praise the Lord! What do I do now? This answer comes...more like a series of answers: live and breathe for God (that's a given), do what I can for my family (most definitely), keep on working towards a new job and apartment, love and care for my boyfriend and just keep everything in perspective. That's what I'll do day after day and most importantly, I'll just continue to praise and thank God for everything because if it wasn't for Him, everything about this situation would've stayed the same. Praise God forevermore!!

My dear Heavenly Father, I thank and praise You so much for all You've done. You're such an awesome God and I can't help but just be grateful. Thank You so much for changed hearts and sweet blessings. Thank You for giving me a reason for living...You are that reason. Thank You for Your love and mercy. May they surround me wherever I go. Thank You for my parents, my siblings, my boyfriend and his family. I love them all so very much. Shine Your light on them and may Your angels always protect them. Thank You also for just being the wonderful and merciful God You are. There is surely none like You. I love You so much, Lord Jesus and I give Your name all the praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Your mighty name I pray, amen!! (9:13 am)

Another Turning Point

This will be the shortest blog I've ever written but I'll make my point clear. I'm taking another turn on this journey I'm going on. This time, it'll just be God and me. I'm doing what I can to get back to school this upcoming semester. I know it'll probably take a miracle but I'm still believing and standing on God's word with every bit of strength within me. I've decided to do my best and let God do the rest. I'm putting it all in His hands. As it stands now, I am still in a relationship but I'm not going to be communicating for quite a while. Why? Because there are things I have to do on my own and I have to get them done without help from anyone but God. It's a hard step to take but I have to take it. I made this same attempt before and I fell through but I'm not gonna fall through this time. I'm gonna pull through and come out victorious in the end!

Dear Lord God, thank You so much for all You've done in my life. You're so awesome and I praise You just for being the Lord of my life. Whatever I've done that hasn't been pleasing to You, please forgive me and I thank You and praise You for Your forgiveness. I pray especially for this road I'm taking. Dear Father, help me to follow through and get things done. I pray also for Travis and his family. They have been such a blessing to me Jesus and I pray that You'll just bless them and keep them safe. Bless Pastor Jo and her family. Touch their lives in an abundant way, Lord. May everything that is done follow along with Your will. Thank You Jesus. I love You so much Lord God, and I want to do what's right in Your sight. In Jesus precious name I pray, amen! (11:43 am)

A Turning Point and a Breaking Point

(sighs) A turning point has come in my journey and I'm trying to find out exactly how to go about it. So many things have happened over the past day or two and I realize now what it is I am supposed to do: move on in my life as a single for a while longer. How long that while is, I don't know right now....but I do know that God knows what is best for me and He has told me Himself that He wants me to be single for a while longer and focus on the things I need to do. One thing I can't deny or ever forget: the compassion I feel towards a certain person. I've expressed myself quite fully on the impact he had on my life. Even now I still feel it. Can't help it, I guess. I just hope and pray that he will see what I see now: if it was meant for us to be together, there would be absolutely no opposition from anyone - not my parents or his parents or anyone else. Nothing would be hidden from anyone. We wouldn't have to go behind anyone's back to communicate to one another. (shameful face) I got an email and a facebook message from him today and I'll be honest, it touched my heart to hear from him. I know deep down in my heart I don't want to let him go but with the way things are now, I have to. I don't know if this is temporary or permanent but I know that when it all comes together in God's time, we will both be very happy people: both Travis and me. And who knows? Maybe our paths will cross again sometime in the future when everything's all said and done. We'll both be finished with school and well into our careers. I see that. For now, I'll just be patient and wait on God....something I should've been doing from the beginning of all this. I didn't really do that then but I am now.

Dear Heavenly Father, You are such an awesome God. I thank You Father that we can come to You with every problem or concern we have and bring it to Your throne. Right now, I pray for Your peace to cover every area of this situation...the peace that passes all understanding. I especially pray for Travis and myself. We've come to this point where the relationship is being put to an end but we don't know for how long. I just pray Lord that You will keep us according to Your perfect will for our lives. Help me Father to realize exactly what it is You have in store for me. I'm still trying to find that out. But I know if I keep on seeking after You, I'll find You and find what Your will is for me. Thank You Lord. Watch over Travis as he goes through this time of trial. Dear Lord, I still love him very much and I have forgiven him. Help him realize that all will be well in the end...whether we both remain single or become a couple again. Thank You Lord for Your goodness and mercy. May they shower over us always. I give Your precious name praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus' name I pray, amen. (4:01 pm)