God Is With Me Always

         Every day, I just praise and thank God for everything He's brought me through. It's been quite a long time since I've written in here and things have changed so much! I now live in Roanoke Rapids, NC and I have my own place. It's been about a year and a half since I moved down here and I'm absolutely loving it! Do you remember my dear friend Travis that I talked about before in my past blogs? Well, we're still together and I truly believe things are moving forward for us. There will be more on that later. ;) Until then, may God bless all of you out there and I pray that whoever doesn't have Jesus Christ as their personal Savior come to Him and let Him take over your life. You won't regret it! I'm serious! When you know you're in His will, you are happy. Believe me, I know. When it was time for me to move down here, I just knew it was the right time. God let me know that. My prayers are with all of you always and I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted last time. Like my friend Scott says sometimes, catch y'all on the flip!

Obey Your Parents - You Just Have To!

This might be a short one but it's very important so I'll post it up. It's so early in the morning and I'm up very wide-eyed right now. Why? Because my mom got me up. She wants me to get my devotions done (which I did a few minutes ago), get washed and dressed, get my breakfast and get to work. Early April I moved back home because of complications in the apartment I was living in and my home is not very organized. I realized when I came home, I had another chance to make it right since I didn't all this time but you know what? I still haven't followed through with it! It's so horrible, it makes me sick to my stomach. I realize now all the more that I have to get it right this time. I plan to move to North Carolina within a couple of months (that's the plan, anyway) and I have to make very sure that I don't leave anything undone. I have to do what I can when I'm here at home and if this is what it takes, then bring it on! I confess, I haven't been faithful to my mom as I should've been all along but I believe God is sending me a reminder this morning when I was basically "dragged" out of my bed today. Colossians 3:20 says: "Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord"(NASB). I have also read that your days will be long upon the earth which the Lord your God gives you (Exodus 20:12). Do I want to live long? Do I want to make sure nothing is left undone? Of course I do! I'll admit, I was pretty upset at first when my mom woke me up this morning but I've humbled myself before God just now and I'm going to do what I can while I'm still living here. May I never stray away from this Word I have learned even more so now then before. I've heard these verses over and over growing up but they're all the more clear to me now.

Dear Lord God, please forgive me for how I've been this past month. It's been very wrong of me to be this way. I should give graditude to those who have raised me in the ways of the Lord. I give it now wholeheartedly and completely. Father God, I realize now why You have me back here at home and I make a declaration to follow through with what I'm supposed to do. Thank You Jesus for having my mom wake me up this morning. Thank You Lord for her raising me and teaching me Your ways. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her and my dad. I love them both and I want to do all I can for them now. Guide me Lord in Your ways. Teach me all I need to know. My mom has put me in Your hands and that is where I intend to stay. Direct me in the way I should go. I will not depart from it. Furthermore, I praise You for the fact that it says in Your word that when I delight myself in You, You will give me the desires of my heart. I delight myself in You now as I do what my parents tell me. Thank You Jesus! I give Your precious name praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus name I pray, amen!! (7:26 am)

"How Is Your Faith?" That Is The Question

Did you ever come to a realization in your life, a time where you wanted to make sure you were going in the right direction? Well, that happened to me this past Sunday. My assistant pastor Curtis Hickson had a message entitled "How Is Your Faith?" and it just drew me. As I listened to the message, I wrote down these questions in my notes: "What is the condition of my faith? How strong is my faith?" I was actually asking myself these questions as I listened and to be quite honest, I felt a little shaken. Here lately, I've been trying to find a job and a place to live down in North Carolina and the one thing that always comes to mind is how much I miss my boyfriend and how much I want to be with him. I realize now that that's not how I should be. I'm not supposed to feel sad or downhearted because I'm so far away from him. I should thank and praise God because He's got it all under control. I should praise the Lord that He's faithful and I need to keep the faith in order to get things together. In Mark 11:22, Jesus told His disciples to "have faith in God." What He meant was have the faith OF God. I heard that quite a while ago but this time around, it became so real to me.

My assistant pastor read from Hebrews 10 (the whole chapter) and he illustrated very well on how it all ties together. He spoke on how in Old Testament days, they would use the blood of bulls, goats and sheep as sacrifices to the Lord for their sins every year (Heb. 10:1-6). Later it was in prophecy that the Lamb of God (Jesus) would come and sacrifice Himself "once for all," (vs. 10:10). Through His precious sacrifice, we are sanctified and called the children of God! Praise the Lord! Because of this, "the just shall live by faith" (vs. 38). I am called the just! There is no reason to feel down in the dumps! I shouldn't complain and mope because I am in a certain place and I want to be somewhere else. Jesus didn't complain when He was whipped, beaten and crucified! He went through it all so I could live in faith knowing that He is on my side! If I go on every day remembering this principle, I'll have all the confidence and strength I need to make it. That's true for all of us, I'm sure. I am making a declaration: I won't be sad or aching because I'm not where I want to be - I'll just keep the faith and know that God will bring me to where He wants me to be in His time.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You so much for this awesome Word You've brought before me. I confess, I've been wrong in how I've been thinking lately. I've forgotten to put You first before everything and everyone and I truly and honestly repent of it. Thank You so much Lord for Your forgiveness. I pray Father God that I'll keep an open mind and be strong in faith. Thank You Lord for my family and my friends. Bless them and keep them safe. Thank You so much for my dear boyfriend Travis as well as his family. Wrap Your loving arms around them and bless them, I pray. Thank You for Your angels surrounding and protecting them. I also pray for my relationship with Travis. May we keep on being strong in faith and in truth as we keep on reading and meditating on the Word. No matter how far apart we are, we're always close because You are the center of our joy. Thank You Jesus! I give Your name praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus' name I pray, amen!! (12:28 am)

A Tremendous Call To Prayer

Well, a lot has happened over the past few weeks. A lot of work has been put into upholding presidential candidates and now the one that the majority of the American people wanted in office has won. A lot of the people are celebrating this time and others are feeling pretty downhearted...like I was feeling today when I got up this morning.

Yes, I was pulling for John McCain to win but alas, Barack Obama has taken the victory and I feel like there's a possible chance for the freedom of this nation to go down. Yet, I am praising God for the fact that I'm still here, alive and well and I have won in my own right. I just know in my heart that I am one of those who have been called "for such a time as this." My eyes have been opened to what I need to do. I have to take a stand for what I believe in, share the Gospel of Jesus Christ faithfully, pray for our new president and this nation continuously, fervently and frequently. It's time-time for Christians (every single one of us) to pray now more than ever before. We also can't be silent anymore. We need to speak and shout aloud for the Glory of God! Like it says in the song Make A Joyful Noise to the Lord: "I will not be silent, no! And I will not be quiet anymore!" I'm not just talking to whoever is reading this blog; I am talking to myself, too. Do I feel guilty for not sharing Jesus like I was supposed to all this time? Of course I am! I know now though that I can't be silent. God is calling us (you and me) to be bold - bold for Him.

One time when I first started going to my old church (Impacting Your World Christian Ctr.), I came down to the altar to "receive the Holy Spirit." I went downstairs with other people after the pastor prayed for us. Some of you might have your own views on this kind of thing but don't mind me; I'm just sharing my testimony. Anyway, we were all downstairs together. The leaders prayed with us and we all started speaking in tongues. It was the most exciting thing I've ever experienced! One lady laid her hands on me and she had a message from God for me. She said "You love God with all your heart but the only thing He wants from you is more boldness." I was reminded of that today and I truly believe that's the calling not just for me but for every Christian in the United States and all over the world. Let's take this opportunity to stand up for Jesus Christ. Let's be revolutionaries for our Lord and Savior!!

1When Mordecai learned (A)all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city and wailed loudly and bitterly.
2He went as far as the king's gate, for no one was to enter the king's gate clothed in sackcloth.
3In each and every province where the command and decree of the king came, there was great mourning among the Jews, with (B)fasting, weeping and wailing; and many lay on sackcloth and ashes.
4Then Esther's maidens and her eunuchs came and told her, and the queen writhed in great anguish. And she sent garments to clothe Mordecai that he might remove his sackcloth from him, but he did not accept them.
5Then Esther summoned Hathach from the king's eunuchs, whom the king had appointed to attend her, and ordered him to go to Mordecai to learn what this was and why it was.
6So Hathach went out to Mordecai to the city square in front of the king's gate.
7Mordecai told him all that had happened to him, and (C)the exact amount of money that Haman had promised to pay to the king's treasuries for the destruction of the Jews.
8He also gave him (D)a copy of the text of the edict which had been issued in Susa for their destruction, that he might show Esther and inform her, and to order her to go in to the king to implore his favor and to plead with him for her people.
9Hathach came back and related Mordecai's words to Esther.
10Then Esther spoke to Hathach and ordered him to reply to Mordecai:
11"All the king's servants and the people of the king's provinces know that for any man or woman who (E)comes to the king to the inner court who is not summoned, (F)he has but one law, that he be put to death, unless the king holds out (G)to him the golden scepter so that he may live. And I have not been summoned to come to the king for these thirty days."
12They related Esther's words to Mordecai.
13Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, "Do not imagine that you in the king's palace can escape any more than all the Jews.
14"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and (H)deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?"
Esther Plans to Intercede 15Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai,
16"Go, assemble all the Jews who are found in Susa, and fast for me; (I)do not eat or drink for (J)three days, night or day. I and my maidens also will fast in the same way. And thus I will go in to the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish."
17So Mordecai went away and did just as Esther had commanded him.

Esther 4:1-17

Dear Heavenly Father, You are such an awesome God! My mind still has yet to comprehend the greatness of You. My Lord and Savior, I come to You now humbled and moved by the calling You've placed on my life. May I go forth by Your leading and share the Gospel with EVERYONE I come in contact with. If the time comes when I have to give my life for spreading Your word, then so be it. I pray earnestly for our president. I pray in the Name of Jesus that whatever decisions he makes during his term will be divinely directed of You, God. I put him into Your hands. I lift him up in prayer to You right now, Lord. Do with him as You will. I pray fervently that he will make the right decisions because he is following Your lead. I thank You Lord that You are still on the throne and prayer changes things. Praise Your holy name!! I give Your name praise, honor and glory forevermore. I love You, Lord!!! In Jesus' precious name I pray, amen!!!!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Goodness! So much time has past since I last wrote on here but today is the start of great things to come. "Why" do you ask? Well, let me just get right down to it. Sit back, relax and enjoy this little post I'm putting up. Lately, I've been trying to get myself together as far as moving or looking for a new job is concerned. I haven't gotten very far yet but I'm still striving on. In fact, I'm so serious about it, I started a serious period of fasting and praying. During this time however, I wasn't just praying for me to move or get it all together. I was praying that my mom would accept my having a boyfriend. Just recently I took a trip to North Carolina to visit Travis and we had a great time. I realized just after I got on the train coming back home that I left my journal and a music tape that Travis and I put together. He told me he'd send them to me when he could. When he sent it, it took over a week. When it finally came, my mom took it. She later confessed to me that she listened to the tape. There was a song on it that Travis wrote for me and she heard that. Now she's accepting Travis and me being together. When we were done talking that day, all I could do was praise and thank God. :) It was so great hearing that! After all this time, there is a light at the end of my tunnel. Now I can happily say that I'm with my dear boyfriend and my mom is all right with it. Praise the Lord! What do I do now? This answer comes...more like a series of answers: live and breathe for God (that's a given), do what I can for my family (most definitely), keep on working towards a new job and apartment, love and care for my boyfriend and just keep everything in perspective. That's what I'll do day after day and most importantly, I'll just continue to praise and thank God for everything because if it wasn't for Him, everything about this situation would've stayed the same. Praise God forevermore!!

My dear Heavenly Father, I thank and praise You so much for all You've done. You're such an awesome God and I can't help but just be grateful. Thank You so much for changed hearts and sweet blessings. Thank You for giving me a reason for living...You are that reason. Thank You for Your love and mercy. May they surround me wherever I go. Thank You for my parents, my siblings, my boyfriend and his family. I love them all so very much. Shine Your light on them and may Your angels always protect them. Thank You also for just being the wonderful and merciful God You are. There is surely none like You. I love You so much, Lord Jesus and I give Your name all the praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Your mighty name I pray, amen!! (9:13 am)

Another Turning Point

This will be the shortest blog I've ever written but I'll make my point clear. I'm taking another turn on this journey I'm going on. This time, it'll just be God and me. I'm doing what I can to get back to school this upcoming semester. I know it'll probably take a miracle but I'm still believing and standing on God's word with every bit of strength within me. I've decided to do my best and let God do the rest. I'm putting it all in His hands. As it stands now, I am still in a relationship but I'm not going to be communicating for quite a while. Why? Because there are things I have to do on my own and I have to get them done without help from anyone but God. It's a hard step to take but I have to take it. I made this same attempt before and I fell through but I'm not gonna fall through this time. I'm gonna pull through and come out victorious in the end!

Dear Lord God, thank You so much for all You've done in my life. You're so awesome and I praise You just for being the Lord of my life. Whatever I've done that hasn't been pleasing to You, please forgive me and I thank You and praise You for Your forgiveness. I pray especially for this road I'm taking. Dear Father, help me to follow through and get things done. I pray also for Travis and his family. They have been such a blessing to me Jesus and I pray that You'll just bless them and keep them safe. Bless Pastor Jo and her family. Touch their lives in an abundant way, Lord. May everything that is done follow along with Your will. Thank You Jesus. I love You so much Lord God, and I want to do what's right in Your sight. In Jesus precious name I pray, amen! (11:43 am)

A Turning Point and a Breaking Point

(sighs) A turning point has come in my journey and I'm trying to find out exactly how to go about it. So many things have happened over the past day or two and I realize now what it is I am supposed to do: move on in my life as a single for a while longer. How long that while is, I don't know right now....but I do know that God knows what is best for me and He has told me Himself that He wants me to be single for a while longer and focus on the things I need to do. One thing I can't deny or ever forget: the compassion I feel towards a certain person. I've expressed myself quite fully on the impact he had on my life. Even now I still feel it. Can't help it, I guess. I just hope and pray that he will see what I see now: if it was meant for us to be together, there would be absolutely no opposition from anyone - not my parents or his parents or anyone else. Nothing would be hidden from anyone. We wouldn't have to go behind anyone's back to communicate to one another. (shameful face) I got an email and a facebook message from him today and I'll be honest, it touched my heart to hear from him. I know deep down in my heart I don't want to let him go but with the way things are now, I have to. I don't know if this is temporary or permanent but I know that when it all comes together in God's time, we will both be very happy people: both Travis and me. And who knows? Maybe our paths will cross again sometime in the future when everything's all said and done. We'll both be finished with school and well into our careers. I see that. For now, I'll just be patient and wait on God....something I should've been doing from the beginning of all this. I didn't really do that then but I am now.

Dear Heavenly Father, You are such an awesome God. I thank You Father that we can come to You with every problem or concern we have and bring it to Your throne. Right now, I pray for Your peace to cover every area of this situation...the peace that passes all understanding. I especially pray for Travis and myself. We've come to this point where the relationship is being put to an end but we don't know for how long. I just pray Lord that You will keep us according to Your perfect will for our lives. Help me Father to realize exactly what it is You have in store for me. I'm still trying to find that out. But I know if I keep on seeking after You, I'll find You and find what Your will is for me. Thank You Lord. Watch over Travis as he goes through this time of trial. Dear Lord, I still love him very much and I have forgiven him. Help him realize that all will be well in the end...whether we both remain single or become a couple again. Thank You Lord for Your goodness and mercy. May they shower over us always. I give Your precious name praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus' name I pray, amen. (4:01 pm)

An Important Reminder On Christmas Day

I got up this morning around 6:30 or so and decided to watch the 3rd Spiderman movie on my laptop. It was a really good movie. After that, I texted my boyfriend telling him about it and I wished I had saved it for when we saw each other again. We talked for a little while longer about different things-mainly about Christmas. After I got off the phone with him, I went online to read Our Daily Bread which is a devotional I learn so much from. This time the message really struck a chord within me. The title of the message was called "The Blessing Tree" and they read from Luke 1:46-55. It talked about how Mary was rejoicing. She said, "My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior" (vv. 46-47). In the message itself, it talked about this young couple who's business had failed and they had to move out of their home just after New Year's! Since it was Christmas, they didn't want that situation to ruin it so they decided to throw a party. They found a cedar tree and decorated it with one string of lights and paper rolled up into balls tied to the tree with ribbon. When their guests arrived and saw the tree, they happily said "Welcome to our Blessing Tree!" The young couple explained to their guests that they dedicated their tree to God. No matter what hard times they faced, God blessed them in so many ways. They said that each piece of paper represents a blessing God has given them this year (which was that year they celebrated as they did).

I quote directly from the devotional this: "This couple has faced more trials since then, but they have chosen to stay focused on the Lord. They often remark that the Christmas with the “blessing tree” was one of their most beautiful, because they could testify as Mary did: “My spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. . . . He who is mighty has done great things for me” (Luke 1:47-49). I can truly identify with this couple. I've been through some very hard times (e.g. trying to stay in school) and I'm still going through hard times now. Yet, this reading reminded me that through tough times, I can rejoice in the Lord. He has blessed me in so many ways. He blessed me with a wonderful family, a place to live, good friends and an amazing boyfriend. Most of all, He has blessed me with true love-a love only He can give.

What really put a hold on me was the reminder that was included in this message. They usually end their devotions with a poem and a reminder. It's short but absolutely sweet. Here is the poem first:

Jesus came—and came for me!
Simple words, and yet expressing
Depths of holy mystery,
Depths of wondrous love and blessing. —Havergal

And the reminder was: To give meaning to Christmas, give Christ first place. Oh my gosh, that hit me hard! So hard, I nearly cried. That line convicted me so much. Did I give Christ first place today? No, I didn't. I gave Spiderman and my boyfriend first place today. It hurts but it is the truth. Right then and there I repented before God. I asked Him to forgive me and I know He did. I love how God forgives us and tosses what we repented of into the Sea of Forgetfulness. That's such an awesome thing to think about! What I learned today was this: there is a time and a place for everything but we need to remember that God is first in place. Yes there is always time for talking with friends and watching movies, but it's absolutely imporatant that we're aware of the fact that God IS with us....not just some of time but all the time!! "Put God First?" It's not just a saying-it's the way of Christian life.

Dear Lord Jesus, I thank You and praise You so much for this wonderful reminder You have shown me today. You are such an awesome God! May I never forget that. I pray that as I keep on living, I'll learn more and more to put You first in EVERYTHING I do. You are my #1 and my Inspiration. You are my Magnificent Obsession, the One I need, the One I thirst for and long for. I praise and thank You for being born on this day. I just want to say with everything that is within me HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!! Words can't describe how much You mean to me. I love You so very much and I give Your precious name ALL praise, ALL honor and ALL glory forevermore!! In Jesus' Mighty Name I pray, amen!!!

A Few Years Have Passed.....But I Still Remember

Well, today marks 7 years since the attack of September 11th. I still remember it like it was yesterday. What really gets to me about it is the fact that so many people don't seem to hold it in high regard like they did when it actually happened. It saddens me. So many people I know have lived through tragedies like the assassination of John F. Kennedy or the attack of Pearl Harbor and all I can do is listen to them...talking about where they were when it all happened. Of course, I wasn't around when it happened and I never thought that I would actually have an opportunity to live through a tragedy. I remember so clearly where I was when 9/11 happened: I used to work in a farmer's market. That was my first job. I was in the produce section of the store sitting on some type of crate with wheels separating good onions from bad ones. My mom worked in the meat section of the store at the time. She came up to me and told me there's been an attack on America and told me to pray. I sat right where I was and prayed (but I didn't know exactly what happened). When we got home after 5:00 that day, the news was on tv. When I saw what happened, my heart sank. I just couldn't get over how horrible it was, how unbeliveable it seemed. I went upstairs after a while and just cried out to God. During my time of prayer and sorrow I felt for all those people who died, I wrote a little poem. Unfortunately, I don't know where it is right now and I don't remember exactly how it goes. It's a poem I never finished but I'll be sure and post it next time I write a blog.

One thing I can say is this: I'm so thankful to God for just being able to live life. I'm glad He's called me to be an encourager to people, a person who's willing to offer help when it's needed, and a worship leader in training. I just know that God is going to take me far with all of the above. All I can do is wait and pray. And of course, I'll continue to pray for all the families who lost someone dear to them that tragic day of 9/11. I don't ever want to forget that day and how it just impacted me. Too many people have either forgotten about it or don't really hold it in high regard like they used to. I don't want to be like that.

Dear Lord Jesus, I thank You for being so awesome. You're such a wonderful God and I'm so glad You're my Savior. I pray now for the families who lost someone during the attack of 9/11. I'm sure that brings back some painful memories for them. I pray that You'll just bring them comfort in this time, Father God. I pray that You'll put Your loving arms around them. Bless them, Lord. Keep them safe wherever they go. Thank You Lord. I also pray that I'll never forget what happened during that time. I pray Lord that You'll keep it fresh in my mind and that it will not die. I pray that whenever I remember it, each time will be a time of realization for me. I also pray that others will feel the same way. Thank You Jesus. I pray Father God that You'll keep me in check with what I need to get done. May I not forget the calling You've placed on my life. Indeed Lord, it's not my life but You living in me. May I never forget that. I love You so much Father God and I live to praise Your precious name in everything I do. I give Your name all the praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus' mighty name I pray, amen.

For all those who lost someone during this awful tragedy, may this scripture passage give you comfort. It's very familiar but very appropriate.


1 The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23:1-6 (9:38 pm)

So Much Has Happened

My gosh! So much has happened, I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with this. For now, Travis and I aren't pursuing a relationship and we still remain good friends. I'll write another blog later in the week about how that came to be. For now, I'll stick to the current events. Lately, Travis and I have been having some really good conversations. We talk about so much! We're still really good friends. Like I stated one time; we're so close, it's crazy! We know each other so well and we have so much in common. Emphasis on SO MUCH! (sighs) I said it before and I'll say it again; I feel like I've come too close to finding the one I know I'll love and care for the rest of my life. Have I truly found my soulmate? Is this really the person I'm supposed to be with? Right now, I know I want that to be so but I also know without a doubt that God is not through with me yet. I truly desire to serve God during my singleness as much as possible. I'm just getting started; being a keyboardist at Crown of Life Ministries, writing praise songs, making and selling greeting cards, and of course, my dance ministry. All this is just the beginning! God has made that quite clear to me. So what if it took me 25 years to get to this point? As far as I'm concerned, it has all been well worth it. There is still a lot to learn but I know I'll get through. Why? Because "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me!" (Phil. 4:13)

As far as Travis and I are concerned, I just hope and pray that both of us will have the patience and the strength to conquer all. I know without a doubt that we have something. We just have to keep trusting in God and not get ahead of ourselves. One thing I want him to do is to just be patient with me. I appreciate how much he has been so far. For all I know, it could go all the way to the time I graduate college or beyond. I don't know how long it'll take. I really don't but I'm quite sure when God tells me it's time, I will know without a hint of doubt. Here's another thing I'm sure of; I feel like I've found my worship partner. (smiles) My mind simply bursts with new ideas these days and I have dreams about our ministry together as a team. I mean, heck! We've even named our group already! TNT - Dynomite for Jesus! Gosh, I love the sound of that! (laughs) I really want that to happen. Who knows? It just might. I guess I'll just keep on praying about it. I know one thing though; Travis and I share such a beautiful friendship and I never want it to end. I've prayed long and hard quite a bit of my life for a best friend and look at who God sent into my life! I'm so thankful and I praise my Heavenly Father for this dear person. Travis is without a doubt that best friend I was praying for. (smiles)

My dear Heavenly Father, You are so awesome!! It truly amazes me how much You love me. I love You so much and I strive every day to give You all the glory, honor and praise forevermore in all I do. Father God, thank You so much for sending Travis into my life. I know there has to be a reason behind it. I'm quite sure You didn't have us meet for nothing. I pray Lord that You'll just bless Travis in a special way. I pray that You'll put Your loving arms around him and keep him safe wherever he goes. Bless his family and his pastor. May heavenly blessings shower over them. May Your love be shown brightly in their lives. Thank You Jesus. I sincerely pray for focus in my life. You've brought me so far already. Show me what I'm supposed to do now, Jesus. I am ready to listen. I pray that Your love and mercy will be shown through me and in me no matter where I am. May it just be so evident that I belong to You.....so much so, it can't be denied. Lead me on to where I need to go next. I await Your guiding hand. Thank You Jesus. I praise and thank You so much for all You're doing and are about to do. I live to praise Your name in every aspect of my life. Of course, it's not my life but You living Your life through me. May I never forget that. I just give Your name praise, honor and glory forevermore. In Jesus' precious Name I pray, amen! (9:33 pm)

One Question: Who Would've Thought?

This is going to be something to put out but I guess I'll start with this; so much has happened over the past few weeks! I got to visit Liberty U. for a couple of days in April and was very glad when I did. When I got off the train after an hour delay, I was reunited with my dear friend Travis. I couldn't say enough how happy we were to see each other. We drove to my friend Salvy's house from the station and settled there for a few minutes before Travis had to go back to the dorm. The next day was a brand new beginning because something happened that wasn't expected... especially that Tuesday night. I accompanied Travis to a few places that day when I realized I wasn't going to be hanging out with my friend Richie like we said we would. I suppose there's always next time though. Anyway, we went to Walmart to get a birthday present for my youngest brother, Burger King to eat and then we went to Salvy's house so we could chill for a bit. When we got there, the door was locked and everyone was gone. lol At that point, I decided to sit on the porch and not long after that, Travis joined me. We started talking a bit about different things that have happened in the past, mainly what happened between him and Jessica. While he vented out to me, I rested my head on his shoulder as I was listening. As I did that, he put his arm around me. Before we knew it, we were holding hands. It just seemed so natural. Travis later told me that he felt at peace that night instead of feeling pain because of how Jessica broke off her relationship with him. It was so astounding to me when he told me that.

The following day we spent together was unforgettable. We went driving up to the mountains and did some hiking. We hiked down to this pretty waterfall where we took some pictures and stood together on this bridge where the waterfall ran down. We held each other close for a while. All the way there and all the way back, we held hands. Then we went out to dinner and Campus Church. One thing about when we went from the Blue Ridge Parkway to dinner, we didn't stop holding hands til we got out of the car! It was something else. And of course, Campus Church was awesome!! Dr. Caner talked about how we should test the spirit, about how we should find out whether what we're getting into is God's will or not. Travis and I learned a lot that night. When we came back to Salvy's house, the door was open but I wanted to sit outside for a while again. Travis decided to join me again. Oh, how we didn't want the night to end! We sat on the porch and held each other close again. When the time came to say goodnight, we really didn't want to. I walked Travis over to his car and we just stood there hugging each other a few times. Gosh! Ever since that week I came down, things have been happening between us. It looks like we're heading into a relationship. Oops, I take that back.... we are! My visit to North Carolina in the summer will surely confirm it. We've been having a lot of conversations lately about it and it just keeps getting better and better. The dreams I've had about Travis and me are coming true and I just can't believe it. I just want to thank God for sending Travis into my life. He's been such a blessing to me and I can't wait for great things to happen in our lives. As long as we keep giving God all the glory in all we do, everything will fall into place. I just want to put this out: I'm not in it for the moment alone - I'm in it for the rest of my life.

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for your faithfulness and your love. You've carried me through rough times and showed me the way to go. I love you forever. I praise and thank you Father for what's been happening between Travis and me. I believe you've brought us together for a reason. It's so evident now. I pray that you'll bless us as we live our lives to give you all the glory. I pray for great things to happen as we keep on seeking after you with our whole hearts. Thank you so much for bringing Travis into my life. Continue to keep watch over him and his family. I thank you for your angels surrounding them and protecting them wherever they go. Thank you so much, Jesus. You truly are my Number One and my Inspiration. I love you so much! In Jesus' Precious Name I pray, amen. (6:33 pm)

A Conversation With Jesus About The Rising

It is such a wonder to think about
so much you've done for me
But the one thing that stands out the most
is what you went through on Calvary

You knew your time was drawing close
Yes, indeed it was coming soon
you cried out to God that night
under the big and bright full moon

"Not my will but yours be done"
you spoke out towards your Dad
then came the sound of Roman soldiers
marching on like they have gone mad!

Once Judas Iscariot pointed you out
they grabbed you and took you away
You were brought to the priests to answer questions
and what did you have to say?

When you declared boldly who you were
they cried out "blasphemy!"
then later, you took 39 stripes on your back
Oh my Lord, was this all for me?

You carried that cross all the way
to the place you were destined to go
They drove the nails in your hands and feet
Your precious blood started to flow

"It should've been me on that cross, not you
Why did you take my place?"
"Because if I hadn't done that,
your heart would stay an empty space"

They took you down from off that cross
and laid you in your grave
Then, triumphantly on the third day
you rose and now live again!

"Why did you do this for me, Jesus?
I really want to know"
"The answer is obvious," you reply
"It is because I love you so"

Written by Tiffany J. Washington; inspired by God Himself!4/6/07 - 4/8/07

A Poem Written from Psalm 61

Hear my cries to You, Father
Pay heed to my prayer
In my times of trouble and sorrow
When I need someone, You are there

Lead me on boldly, Lord
To the rock that is higher than me
Teach and show me your ways, Papa God
Sit me down upon your knee

I want to learn all I can
Listening intently to your call
May I dwell forever in your Tabernacle
In your marvellous refuge I want to fall

When my heart is troubled and faint
and I grow weary on this road
May I run to you with confidence
and trust you with my heavy load

Protect me incessantly, my Master
May I find comfort under your wings
May I embrace the wonders you show me
and know how I can live as kings

"I love you until the end and beyond"
You tell me so powerful and true
You say, "You are indeed my child"
Who would know better than you?

May I live for you with boldness
to praise and adore your Name
Because you deserve all the glory
Yes, you deserve all the fame!

Written by Tiffany J. Washington; inspired by my Lord and Savior!!

Easter vs. Resurrection

"Happy Easter!" is heard a lot around this time of year but what does it really mean? I heard from a source (my mom) that the word "easter" is the name of a Pagan goddess! I thought "what in the world?? really??" I also thought "I share the celebration of my risen Lord with a pagan goddess?! No way!" I looked in my Bible and to be totally honest, the word "easter" isn't even mentioned in there! The word "Resurrection" sure is though. Jesus said Himself in John 11:25 "..... I am the Resurrection, and the Life: he that believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:" I don't know about you but I think I'm going to wish everyone a Happy Resurrection Day instead of "Happy Easter." It seems to fit better and of course, the Bible declares it to be so. May God bless you all!!

A Way of Expressing The Bible

There was one day I was walking to Convocation my first semester at Liberty reading my bible. To be specific, I was reading Psalm 33:3. All of the sudden, I started writing down a version of this verse. Here it is:
"Sing unto the Lord God almighty a brand new song; a song of joy, a song of hope, a song of true worship unto Him. Play skillfully and passionately with a loud and bold noise; a noise so powerful it would shake the world and may it enable other to join in and sing excellent praises unto Him."
I am not sure why that came out at the time but I suppose we'll wait and see what purpose it serves. God bless you all!!

How A Friendship Can Change Your Life Forever

Here's a question for you: do you believe friendships can change your life? Let me give you my answer to that. Yes, I believe friendships can change your life. I believe great things can happen in a friendship. I have living proof of a friendship that has definitely changed my life in quite a dramatic way. The friendship I have with Travis has been quite an adventure for me. It's unlike any other friendship I've had with anyone else. It all started when I first met him. We both attended Liberty University the same year: fall of 2004. We had the same GNED class, but we didn't really know each other then. My second semester after my year-long break we were in University Chorale and got to know each other a bit more. We had lunch together here and there. I suppose it was a casual friendship/acquaintence at the time. When my third semester came along, that was when things really changed. This time, he and I found out that I was part of his sisterdorm. Isn't that something?! Also, we were both in Worship 101 class and TRBC choir. His Celebration Choir joined in with TRBC where we did the Living Christmas Tree performance. At that time, Travis and I would drive together to dinner and rehearsals as well as performance nights. During that time, we grew so close to each other. That was when we became very close friends...so close, it's crazy! I don't think I've been that close to anyone outside my family as I am close to him. He tells me I grew on him. (laughs) I couldn't argue with that. Ever since I left Liberty, I've missed him a lot. I didn't even get to hug him before I left. :( That will change though. I'm making plans to go down to Lynchburg for a few days to get some of my clothes and other things from my friend Salvador's house. Travis and I plan to spend a little time together while I'm down there. :) I can't wait for that to happen. We'll wait and see how this turns out. I have no doubt it'll turn out well. I tell you, I didn't know what was going to happen when I met Travis. If God meant to surprise me, boy did He ever! There's so much Travis does for me; he lifts me up when I'm down, he encourages me so much, he makes me laugh (especially at myself sometimes, lol), and he sticks with me through my hard times. I don't think I could ask God for a better friend. Well, of course there's Jesus. He's there for me all the time. :) Well, that's my description of a friendship that has changed my life.

To Travis: Well, you wanted to know how our friendship has been something for me. I was telling you I'd save it for our next conversation, but evidently, I wrote an entire blog about it. lol I have no doubt this will answer any questions you might've had for me. You truly are amazing, my dear friend. I'm so glad God has brought you into my life. I can't wait to see what happens next on this road of life I travel. Who would've thought? Did you see this coming? Because I sure didn't. You told me you wouldn't change a thing concerning our friendship. Believe me, I wouldn't either. Be blessed and I hope you're feeling better today. I'm still praying for you.:)

Dear Lord, thank you so much for everything. You are such an awesome God. Thank you for giving me talent that I can use to glorify you. Thank you for putting me on this earth to give encouragement to others when they need it. I can only do so much. You are the Great Encourager. Thank you for the great friendship I share with Travis. Keep on blessing him, Lord. Give him strength to do what he needs to do. I thank you for your heavenly angels surrounding him and protecting him wherever he goes. Bless his family, Lord Jesus. Keep them safe and secure. I thank you also for the church building they've moved into last December. I pray for great things to happen in that church. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for blessing me as you have this past Sunday. I pray for so much to happen in this church that has designated me to play keyboard for them. May you work through me as I play. May your presence just fall on me and flow out through me. Thank you so much for everything! You truly are my Inspiration. I love you so much, Jesus. In your Mighty Name I pray, amen. (3:22 pm)

Missing So Much....But There's A Light at the End of My Tunnel

Today was a good day so far but now, I'm in kind of a sad mood. I miss Liberty University so much. I miss my friends, my college life, food at the rot (yeah, even that), Campus Church on Wednesdays, Convocation three days a week,... Oh, I miss it all! There is also someone at LU I miss very much. I'll give you one guess... (waiting).... all right, I'll tell you. It's my dearest friend Travis. I miss our singing at David's Place on different nights during the week, our fun times hanging out at the clubhouse, discussions about all sorts of things at lunch or dinner at the rot.... yeah, that's what I miss most. I have been singing my worship song "We Live To Praise Your Name" pretty much every day when I walk to work. Every time I sing that song, I hear Travis singing it with me. (sniffs) Gosh! This is the most depressing blog I've ever written! Oh well, I'm just expressing myself. It's just one of those days where I know where I am and I'm wishing I was somewhere else... specifically Liberty U. I'm playing the "Revelation Song" at the moment and the memories just keep on going in my mind. (sighs) I guess I'm just being me... sort of. I have to keep reminding myself that God has me here at home for a reason. I just hope and pray that all will go well here and I get things accomplished. To my friend Travis: I'm always thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers. Remember that. I thank my Heavenly Father for sending you my way. You've stuck with me through my trying times up until the time I had to leave LU. Thank you so much! (Big hug)

Dear Lord, thank you so much for being such a wonderful God. I praise you and I lift up your holy name. May I never forget why I've been put on this earth you created. Thank you also for giving me a chance to get started in making something of myself. I know now why you had me choose Worship and Music Ministry as my major. I love you so much and I praise your name forevermore. In Jesus' Mighty Name I pray, amen. (3:10 pm)

Here's Another Poem

I just thought I'd put up this poem today. One time I did a dance to the song "Reach Out to Me" by Michael W. Smith off of his "This Is Your Time" project. It's all about a person going through struggles in life. I love the combination of praise dancing and poetry. It seems to all blend together wonderfully. Read and be blessed!

Dear Lord, I've wandered away from you

I tried to find my own way

but it seemed when I tried to head down that road

trouble followed every day

I've wandered away from the truth

I couldn't find peace in my life

I tried to fight battles on my own

and fell way deep into strife

I'm asking you now, please help me out

reach your loving arms to me

I've been blinded by my carelessness

open my eyes so I can see

The battle is much tougher than before

Dear God, help me win this fight

so that I'll be forever safe in your arms

and standing under your heavenly light

Written by Tiffany J. Washington - inspired by God!

(1:45 pm)

How Could I Be So Blind?

I have come to a realization today. I was in the kitchen washing the dishes and listening to music on my cd player. A little later I decided to switch cds and I listened to a song I sang with Thomas Road choir called "Cry Holy." I was singing along with it like I usually do since I knew the song so well. Suddenly, I decided to stop singing and start listening. As I listened, I closed my eyes and thought deep thoughts about what the words meant. It became so real to me, I almost cried. One line I especially meditate on goes like this: "When I'm on my face in my darkest night, I cry for a way to Your shining light. And Father, Your grace is greater than sin. Your mercy rains down and heals me again." It also made me think of what it really means to "fall on my knees and cry holy." I literally repented to God for forgetting that. In my time of singing with different choirs, I've gotten to know and love many songs that I have done with them. One thing though; I memorized all the music but how much did I take in the message of the songs themselves? One example: "We are not ashamed. No, we are not ashamed of the Gospel. The truth we will proclaim." What does that mean? It's telling people in the world that we are not ashamed to spread God's Word!! Another example: "Lord, You're holy. Lord, You're holy and we lift You up and magnify Your Name.... Wonderful! Glorious! Holy and Righteous! Victorious! Conquerer! Triuphant and Mighty! Healer, Deliverer, Shield and Defense! Strong Tower and my Best Friend! Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Soon Coming King! Alpha, Omega, Lord of Everything! Holy, holy, holy is Your Name!" What does that mean? It shows how grateful we are to Him and praising Him for all the things He is!!! I hope and pray that I won't forget this. Next time I sing a song in a choir (and I'm sure I will before long), I am going to think on what the song stands for and not just memorize the music.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You so much for having me come to this realization. I know I was going to write a blog about the great weekend I had in NC, but this has thought has taken over. May I never forget how Wonderful You are, how Glorious You are, how Loving You are. I love You so much, my True and Beautiful Inspiration. You never cease to amaze me in my everyday life. In Jesus' Mighty and Matchless Name I pray, amen!(6:58 pm)

A Time To Be Together.... A Time To Part

This past weekend was the most special of all. I spent the weekend at Roanoke Rapids, NC with my dear friends Travis and Jessica along with their parents. It was the best weekend ever but it had to come to an end when Travis drove me back to Lynchburg today. I will write about the weekend in full when I put up my next blog because this night is turning out to be a hard night. It will be my last night here in beautiful Virginia because I am leaving for Philadelphia in the morning. I leave 6:40 am. Yes, it is early but it was the only bus I could get. I wasn't able to get one later. I pretty much spent the whole day with Travis looking around for something he could get for Jessica as a birthday present. It was fun trying to see what we could get her. I bought a card that I thought she would like. It's pretty and the message is so sweet. It sounded like something I would say to her. (smiles) Anyway, after Travis' 7:00 class got out, he drove me back to my friend's house where we hung out for an hour or so talking to Jessica and looking around on the computer. That was really fun. Yes, tonight is hard but I think tomorrow morning is going to be even harder. Travis is taking me to the bus station so we'll be saying our good-byes to each other. I feel like I'm welling up already. I was hoping I wouldn't cry for real after that dream I had, but this coming up is definitely an emotional moment for me. I'm not sure how I'll contain it all. I'll just be praying that I'll survive the little trip down to the station! (sighs) I have to keep reminding myself "God knows what He's doing. He has it all under control." Hopefully I'll be reminding myself that constantly when I leave.

Dear Lord, thank you so much for everything. Thank you for bringing me to Liberty where I got to know some very dear people that I now hold close to my heart. Watch over everyone I know and their families. Cover them with your love and grace, Father. May your light shine within each one of them so bright that others can't deny that you are the True and Living God. I love you so much, Jesus. Keep reminding me that you have a purpose for me whether it be at home, in Lynchburg or maybe even in Roanoke Rapids. I don't know what you have set up for me, but I know it will be your plan to prosper me and not to harm me. Your plan will give me a future and a hope. May I never forget that. Thank you Father God, my One True Inspiration. I am so in love with you. In Jesus' Mighty Name I pray, amen. (1:20 am)